new posts will be posted at my new blog site, at
plz read previous posts, da posts "i noe that person… But i don’t…" and "10 fcuked up things about guys" are not good lah dun read 
:P heh perasan pulak hahahha i din put all da posts in a page cuz most have songs of its own, put ur cursors on the refresh button ya!!! refresh till get da song kayx, thanks for reading
K, not my normal poetic self :P hahha but here goes!
There are many things that can and should be cherished in life, but the most cherished and most obvious is friendship…
I have this friend, he’s always with me, no matter i cry, i laugh, i emo, i crazy, i’ve given up, but he’s always there. Sometimes, i thought that i bother him too much, people would have waved me away or go defeatist on me already but he never turn about and walk away. Instead, every advice he gave me is wise and he really understands me. I am really really glad he’s always there though i don’t see him anymore, he was always there over the phone and Msn. i was sad when he have to go after form 3, but i guess it have to be done. but i’ll never forgive him for saying we can still meet ’cause we hadn’t for 3 years -.- i hope you’re reading this so you’ll be ready to get whacked :P hahha
*man i love this smiley on this blog! look so nice! :)*
I have this friend too that i was really really close with till my ex scolded him for being so close to me -.- but hey! He was the first i guess to see me cry ’cause i never showed… He was always able to make me smile when i was crying, he was always able to make me laugh no matter what some people don’t like him but i always say that they just don’t understand him. he is a really great guy. i was really sad when he had to go after form 4. i never see him ever since, but he is still with me over the phone i really wish i can see him again
*i think i better put one of these star note-y thingy here to separate :P*
I have this friend that i know since primary school and we could be said to be close, but we were never really close actually, up till form 5. i really miss him alot and i hope that our friendship will last forever, but not all friendships will last, circumstances change and we cannot act like little kids when we first met forever. No matter, i was glad that i have that friendship before
*mm!! i like this smiley too! wow this font really make smileys nice*
I have this friend that i know since form 1, she’s always with me, even till Kuantan! hahhahhha check out my pics and u’ll know who d hahhhahhaa she’s been my bestest bestest friend ever and i know that she’ll never leave me. she left our town before after form 3 but we still kept in touch like so frequently that my mum’s alwaqys nagging ’cause of the phone bill heh…
*oh did i say that i love every single one of my friends??!! :P*
I have this friend that i also know since form 1 and he’s also always with me. He left after form 4 but we are always in touch. After form 5, we really had lotsa lotsa fun, going here and there and i lurve his life! and he’s always happy and merry, making me obliged to be happy too when i’m down
*oh come to me when you’re down, i don’t wanna be the only one complaining! :P*
I have this friend that is really really disgusting, hahhahha in fact, i think it is the most disgusting friend any of us will get heh but he is also the funniest funniest guy i have ever met. he would do anything we care to put a bet on hahhha. but underneath the riddiculous exterior, he have a wise personality see! i’m talking good ’bout u!!! :P heh… He ought to be blunter and less tactful though :P hahhhhaa suits him more hahhahah :P
*melissa speechless for once hahhha :P*
I have this friend that i know from form 1, we kinda click in well with another friend, so it’s always three of us. Sadly, things changed in form 4, where we drifted apart. And matters turn worst in form 5, but we are still kinda close. we have gone through alot together and many happy memories and we share lotsa naughty acts in school.
* ‘whistle’ :P :) XD wow!!! this smiley is nice too! XD hahahah! *
I have this friend that went through really lots, i never thought that he is this kinda guy, but i am glad that he at least do not bottle everything up. I wish him good luck and i am really glad he was with me through rough times and helped pull me out of the beach and to the shore.
*~^ I am really really glad I met all these friends in this short path of my life. I am quite confident that we can be friends forever. I am really thankful that they helped me go through some really tough parts of my life, not going defeatist on me. helping me pull through it all. If it is not for them, i think i’m still stuck there and get depression hahhaha Though now we do not see each other as often now, my thoughts always turn to them and i know that they do too if this is not what friends forever are created for, then I dunno what is it created for ^-*
Love ya all
Yea i know that person,
I know that person since primary,
I know that person when that person’s happy,
I know that person when that person’s explaining,
I know that person when that person’s ignoring me,
I know that person when I’m ignoring this person,
I know that person when I’m talking to this person,
But I don’t know this person when this person’s angry,
This person never show,
I don’t know this person when this person lie,
I don’t know this person when this person’s telling the truth,
I don’t know this person when this person’s angry and showing it,
I don’t know myself when i’m wrong and I thought I’m right,
At last, seems that I don’t know this person after all…
I attracts flies rather than moths,
I attracts mosquitoes rather than butterflies,
I attracts empty tins raher than new ones,
I attracts artists rather than architects,
I attracts bears rather than bees,
From all those i had attracted before, i am just glad i had once attracted you… But now, i do not feel like that anymore… After all this, you were just another of those who are not there…
Yang t3h HaMsTeYr says:
>.> love love @_@
Baby Mel = Lady Hurt:. says:
da hardest and weirdest of all feelings
Yang t3h HaMsTeYr says:
yeah…
Yang t3h HaMsTeYr says:
man…
Yang t3h HaMsTeYr says:
she just got kissed infront of the guy who likes her…
Yang t3h HaMsTeYr says:
THATS SO CRUEL!
Yang t3h HaMsTeYr says:
and living in the days that pass as if nothing ever happenned..
Baby Mel = Lady Hurt:. says:
too bad, life’s as such
Yang t3h HaMsTeYr says:
so cruel
Yang t3h HaMsTeYr says:
yet gentle
Yang t3h HaMsTeYr says:
._.
Baby Mel = Lady Hurt:. says:
twisting and turning but after we went thru each twist and turn, suddenly, it dun seem to be dat bad after all
Yang t3h HaMsTeYr says:
leads us to believe we’re all masochists…
Yang t3h HaMsTeYr says:
sigh
Yang t3h HaMsTeYr says:
love is cruel like that isn’t it?
Baby Mel = Lady Hurt:. says:
yupx
Baby Mel = Lady Hurt:. says:
lol but it’s nice too
Yang t3h HaMsTeYr says:
we fall in love, we get our hearts broken because of love and we cry for love… yet in the end we still come back for more.
Yang t3h HaMsTeYr says:
we truly are masochist.
Baby Mel = Lady Hurt:. says:
semasa berada di situ, semuanya manis dan benar, tengok betul betul, rupa rupanya hanya satu bayangan, go thru one mist after another but yet we do not noe to turn about and go away
Baby Mel = Lady Hurt:. says:
love’s all about choice made wrongly
They cannot be trusted
I looked outside my window as the rain splattered on the glass. I saw a group of young men running towards their homes, laughing as they splash into each other. Looking at them reminds me of myself when I was at their age. Only, they seem to lead a healthier, happier life. I could see that they just came back from a game of badminton. Whereas me, at their age, is most probably hiding somewhere hiding my guilty habit – smoking.
I remembered how I used to swear I would not smoke; I remembered promising several people that I would not. I remember seeing my friends smoking and them telling me to. I remembered taking a puff. Just a puff! That ruined it all. I saw a few of my friends trying a puff and vomited; I saw a few of my friends trying a puff and did not continue… I remember thinking to myself that I will not continue after that puff. I remember myself wanting to smoke because that is what my friends are doing, because of pressure I could not express and because of the image I so desperately try to cope up with. In truth, I’m not very sure why I wanted to… I only know that I do.
My girlfriends never knew I was a smoker. In fact, I do not look like a smoker. I took great precaution not to smell like one nor be seen as one. I remember one of my girlfriends finding out. Strangely, she was the one I cared about most from all my girlfriends and my friends… Stranger still, I was still unable to kill my habit even though she supported me fully… I remember starting to lie to her. I remember starting to make sweet promises and actions but not being able to fulfill them nor meant them… I remember her leaving me…
I was in my 20s when I met her… She has these big brown eyes with dark eyelashes and such a cute face, I could not forget… But the most I could not forget was her expression… And her voice, her tone, and especially her regret that filled her every movement, every word when she asked… ‘But why?’; when she saw me with a stick between my fingers. I remember trying to answer her. I remember throwing that stick away as I try to think. I remember a heavy realization rest in my soul as she walked away. I remember asking myself a question- why?
I went home that night, thinking about her. Thinking about what I have been doing. I know it is dangerous, of course I do! I know I should not do it, of course I do! I know I should stop, of course I do! I did stop a while, but it never last long. Especially when I saw my friends doing it, I felt it. I remember asking myself the same question – why? - over and over and over again… I could not seem to get the answer that I WANT to acknowledge. Of course the answer is there, of COURSE those are the answers, but I’m too egoistic, I’m too arrogant, I’m too… too… I do not want to admit I was wrong! I do not want to admit that I had been pulled down so low like so many others before me… I want a different answer!!!!!! I remember screaming that in my head…
Then I came to thinking. Why am I running away? Why am I so afraid to acknowledge it? It is like I have done something wrong, like I broke my mother’s favourite jug and many things else and I just said ‘Sorry’ without meaning it. Without feeling any remorse, without feeling what I said and have done. I thought it was all over. As they say, you are caught not for lying, but for lying badly. Little do I know, I had been running away my whole life. I felt like Lord Voldemort killing so many people but do not want to admit it even when Harry Potter told him to feel remorse. I finally understood about acknowledging my faults and about learn to deal with them. I am still a human, I am not above the law of anything, even cosmic powers, my unconscious mind began to wake a little, I was able to look at it, understanding myself and feeling comfortable with what I am and I am doing. I acknowledged to myself that I AM smoking, that I AM addicted. Then I asked myself do I want to stop. I did not let my mind to answer this time. Instead, the answer came from my heart. Yes.
From that day onwards, I promise myself that I would stop. It does not matter what others think, whether I am a smoker or not, this is for me. When my friends smoke, I was proud I do not, when they tease me, I said to them that it does not matter, that I am not missing out on anything in life. I thought to myself, if I could say no to them when I do not feel like hanging out with them, when I do not agree with them, then why not in this smoking case? I know that secretly, they salute me for being able to stop. I felt like that too when I saw a non smoker or an ex smoker. I hope that they would find the strength to stop smoking as I did. I helped them whenever they asked for it, I did not push them as I know that it must come from their own heart so the determination is strong enough there. I told them once, each of them about what I’ve realised and hope they could think from there on.
Little does anyone could ever dream of, I realised all these from a little girl with big brown eyes and dark eyelashes…
adopted from~
~ GBM=LH
Love…
The love is not to give,
Love is to shape,
The love is not to show,
Love is to care…
True Love is lyke a jigsaw puzzle,
The pieces will find themselves when they are ryte for each other…
The star is bright,
The sky is blue,
Every moment in my mind,
I can’t stop loving you…
Happiness…
The way to be happy is to make others so…
I saw this on a shirt…
In the day, in the night,
Say it all, say it right,
You either got it, or you don’t,
You either stand or you fall,
When your will is broken,
When it slips from your hand,
When there is no time for joking,
There is a hole in the plan,
Oh, you don’t mean nothing at all to me
*actually, i think i prefer Oh, you don’t mean a thing at all to me :P*
I was keeping all my book and papers on 30th of November,
Da 4th dae afta my SPM ended.
Looking at da papers and books reminded me abt my skool life.
I read da papers awhile and realise dat i remembered where and y i did em for.
EACH AND EVERYONE of em!
I cant believe dat i’m leaving skool already.
I never really lyked my skool,
But the buildings are so beautiful,
Especially as i’m in da first batch and saw da skool go up,
The memories stick to me,
No matter how bad,
How good,
It all get into my brains and lay there,
Untarnishable, unable to be broken down,
Nowadays, i don’t feel lyke trying to break em down anymore,
Can’t believe how 5 years have gone so fast.
So many things happened,
Frens found and let go however reluctantly,
Frens trusted and let down however much i hope they won’t,
Memories came and go,
As i look at em,
Listening to dis song,
I wish i could turn back time…
We live todae,
Todae soon became yesterdae,
Whateva we did yesterdae turns into experience,
Turns into memories…
U and i,
Da times we had together,
Da daes we lafed and cried,
Da daes we scoff and curse,
Da daes we fear and loved,
All became memories…
Bad ones,
Great ones,
Cherish em all,
Love em all,
But dun be burdened by em,
Move on,
And together,
We find a new life…
*:P dunno wat i writing, juz felt lyke it :P*
Dedicated to:-
5 Wawasan studx…
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